My James Dean Boy.

lonely
Image via Pinterest.

I missed you today.

I can’t remember the last time I said that

about you.

I can hear sirens sirens 

I walked past our spot.

Five years ago.

There was you, there was me

boy with green headphones, girl with long black boots

meet and ridicule the world.

You

blasting heavy metal music

me

giggling dreaming hoping

begging you to take me away from here.

He hit me and it felt like a kiss

Do you trust me? he said

No.

Do you trust me? he said

Maybe.

Do you trust me? he said

Yes, let’s run far far away.

Don’t fucking trust me.

Born to die.

I missed you today…

The way your cigarette would dangle at the edge of your smirk.

The way your body was a perfect fit with mine.

The way you made a broken girl want to feel

the way you made a strange girl want to try

to love. to connect. to trust.

Before trust turned into a blade with rust.

Before you disappointed me.

Before you lost me.

Before I ran.

Before I learned to recognize ‘unloved’

men’s eyes that can’t love

men’s words that can’t love

men’s bodies that can’t love

can’t love can’t love can’t love

unloved seas of people

pushing me,pulling me to the ocean depths.

I’d rather be friends with ghosts.

I can hear violence violence

They say real love is a pearl

you can find

waiting for the unloved

at the bottom of the ocean.

Video: Lana Del Rey’s Born To Die via LanaDelReyVEVO on YouTube.

Italicized lines in poem from Lana Del Rey’s Ultraviolence.

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Published by

Kamalini Govender

I'm that girl that looks badass in her black boots reading Gothic Psychoanalytic Lit but really just wants to pew pew pew with someone.

4 thoughts on “My James Dean Boy.”

  1. Just watched the video earlier today and you stirred something in me and reawakened my interest. I always liked her music but something is different now, perhaps the timing as these songs touch me in a different way as they did before. Thank you for re inspiring me. Xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Timing is everything in life. Our experiences interact with pieces of art differently at different moments in our lives. Sometimes a book or song or movie can find reinterpretation…and move you in a new way. Even inspire! Sending you lots of hugs!

      Liked by 1 person

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