Elizabeth Bennet

Choosing To Be Elizabeth Bennet In a World of Kardashians.

“There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well.  The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and everyday confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of either merit or sense.” Elizabeth Bennet, Pride and Prejudice

Today was a rather conflicting sort of day for me. I had to smile politely while seated at a dinner table and try to convince the faces staring at me bewildered (and with pity might I add) that I am indeed happy as a single woman at the age of 31. No one believes me. And quite frankly, if I had come across someone like myself vehemently professing such things about a year ago, I’d probably be just as suspicious and disbelieving. But to call me a liar at the moment would be questioning my intelligence greatly. And I feel I’m being prodded with a silly stick as people assume I’m unhappy not having a man at my arm. Pride and Prejudice has always been a favorite of mine. Something about the cool rationality that Jane Austen approached the world with, reeled me in. And something about Lizzie Bennet, with her wit and resilient nature, appealed to me. The idea that all women are seeking a husband and all men are seeking a trophy never sat well with me. I don’t buy into it. You see, I still believe in fairy tales…just not that part that insists prince charming comes along to save you. Or that a woman’s worth is based solely on the man she acquires. That insinuates that a man is a possession meant to add beauty or purpose to a woman…and I honestly find that quite demeaning for men everywhere.

As for the idea that women exist solely to find a man. That notion just sickens me. A day spent surfing the net, or strolling through the local mall affirms my fears that women (especially young women) are being taught to value the wrong things.

Kim Kardashian
Young women are being taught to contour and fake it thanks to Kim K West.

They push and pull at their faces, they rip the clothes off their bodies so men can ‘see’ them and they spend countless hours in pursuit of this above acquisition of a boyfriend/ husband. The recipe for happiness has become :

beg for attention- acquire-keep at all costs to yourself and the other-die

because that is what society says is the correct way for a woman to live. That she is nothing (despite having a successful career) if there are no babies or a husband to show that she is worthy. Times have supposedly changed (so they say) but a lot of us are still feeling the prejudice and disdain that is kept for the lone wolf, single gal that reads too many feminist pieces and fills her head with ‘nonsense’ about liberation and self-knowledge.

eb2

Why do you believe that it could be impossible for a woman to be truly happy being alone? Perhaps she considers herself pretty darn awesome company, gets to do whatever she wants without having to answer to anyone else…maybe there are no expectations of her, there is no impediment to her growing and quest for self betterment. What is so difficult for people to comprehend about a creature like that? It takes a very brave man to accept and nurture a woman that is so comfortable with herself or in search of deeper things. Where there is a lack of women like that, there is a lack of men with such bravery.

eb4
My new motto.

I, myself have always been rebellious. Always had far-fetched ideas and ideals. I have an idea of what I want and I won’t settle for anything less. At the moment my studies and future career goals don’t complement hours spent wasting my time at things that don’t fit the picture I’ve painted for myself in my head. Should I apologize for that?

Pride and Prejudice

What is the point of pursing a relationship if it is just to satisfy my lust, my need to not be alone or to fill up my time and save me from boredom? What is the point of pursuing a relationship if it’s just to make me feel validated or significant in the world? And why would I lower my standards or sense of self for any of those things? So I can fit in? Be what society wants me to be? Not be a freak? Not be me?

I’m tired of the same question. Tired of the same ‘awww shame’ at my romantic status. And definitely tired of people assuming that by having a fiery response to their negative views on my choices, that I’m deeply unhappy or compensating for some sort of lack. How about you just let me be a Bennet and you focus on all those Kardashians instead? Because I’m happy to not have your spotlight treating me like some sort of puppet. I’m happy to not be another pretty face or female touch to fill a void you created. I’m happy to have my books and thoughts. Happy to have my personality and resistance… the freedom to be myself and breathe deep gulps of a life that is not bound by strings or webs or cowardice. I’m not like the popular women, the trendy women or the socially acceptable women…I’m just me. And I won’t be apologizing for that anytime soon. The world could do with more Lizzie Bennets.

 

sonny123
art by sonny123 on deviantart

 

 

 

 

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Published by

Kamalini Govender

I'm that girl that looks badass in her black boots reading Gothic Psychoanalytic Lit but really just wants to pew pew pew with someone.

3 thoughts on “Choosing To Be Elizabeth Bennet In a World of Kardashians.”

  1. That’s right my beautiful sister and you know I stand with you. People are shallow (too many at least) and like you I find myself often disappointed. It seems as if the more I see the less I know and it is discouraging. And while we still find a way to understand and be respectful, that same honor is not bestowed upon us. There will always be times judgment is passed and people for pm opinions and talk about us. I try to tell myself that as long as they talk about me, they are not tearing somebody else apart, but it is tiring for sure and it does get old.
    We live in a world that is all about status, your looks, possessions and who you have on your arm. Lame but society needs to be impressed…haaaaa. I’m surprised how many feed into this, let others dictate their life and get lost in the meantime.
    You can’t ever let this happen to you and I know you won’t. You are a strong beautiful woman every man would love to have by his side, but there is so much much more to it and you need a variety of stimulation such as the mind and having common beliefs, goals. I’m sorry about your day and having to go through anger some times. My souls recognizes your beauty and I’m grateful for you, exactly how you are and I see you. Hugs my wild gypsy wanderer, may your spirit be free like the wind. Xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Just what I needed as I begin my many hours before me working on my upcoming portfolio! Your words mean a lot to me because I know they come from a kind place and a wild gypsy wolf one 😉 You’re so right. Society tends to focus on the wrong things. If you find someone (man or woman) that allows you to grow and inspires you, then that’s something worthwhile and something to fight for. But I feel as if most people are just twiddling their thumbs and attempting relationships to fill the gaps in themselves. It’s sad. Why be with someone if they don’t fulfill the path you have set for yourself? Why be ok with mediocre? Why even bother to waste the moments you have in life that could rather be spent on adventures, viewing the world and learning. You echo that strength you’re talking about, and I know you’ll forgive those that aren’t on the same page as us my dear. 🙂 When the world gets too much, know that you have like-minded friends across the world 😉 Thank you so much for reading my little rant 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We are so much alike in our beliefs my beautiful sister, I feel as if I’m talking to myself. I see you as humble and forgiving, yet you know what you want and there is nothing wrong with it. You are driven with goals and you hope others strive for something as well other than just getting by. Mediocracy is a killer with no motivation and when accepted, it’s a way that we settle and give on our goals. We die slowly and our extraordinary self gets lost to blend in with everybody else.
        You are special, so shine on my beautiful friend and stay true to yourself. Your tribe will be small but will consist of the right people. Hugs.

        Liked by 1 person

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