shinjyu killbill art

Ten Things You Can Learn from Beatrix Kiddo a.k.a. The Bride.

Featured image by shinjyu on deviantart.

This is part of my Things We Can Learn from Fictitious Females series of blog posts. I wrote this about 3 years ago…and boy do I wish I had listened to my own advice. Here’s hoping you have better luck 😉

She is formidable, she is ruthless, she is quintessential badass… she is The Bride a.k.a. Black Mamba. She may be a figment of director Quentin Tarantino’s gruesomely bizarre imagination, but you cannot contest that she is probably one of the most remarkable female protagonists to have graced the silver screen. Let’s face it, no one quite does the ‘blood drenched’ look quite the way she does. She’s been voted one of The 100 Greatest Movie Characters of All Time by Empire magazine (2015) and here’s a random thing or two you can learn from this katana wielding heroine of vengeance…

Lesson Numero Uno: Never date your boss. It’s a rule set in worker etiquette stone that goes as far as to be a contractual given that even if you’re seeing hearts and little bare- bottomed cherubs of ‘lurrrrve’, you absolutely DO NOT date your boss.Besides the whole getting fired thing, or hated by all your colleagues, you could most likely end up being shot in the head like poor Kiddo here. Bloody, gory mess of guts and hearts. Suddenly doesn’t seem worth it, does it?

 

Lesson Number Two: Always prepare for the worst case scenario. If it’s your special day and you have a few enemies (or peeps you pissed off on Facebook) lurking somewhere in the world, prepare yourself for the likelihood that they will try to rain on your parade and gun you down. In fact, in life people are always trying to do just that, so always be prepared and have a backup plan (or twenty).

Lesson Number Three: Will yourself to accomplish things. Being the king or queen of procrastination is allll good until a certain point. Learn from The Bride that even if you’ve been in a coma for a few good years and find yourself in a state of paralysis, you CAN wiggle that big toe (and then the other piggies too) and get your ass into gear.
Lesson Number Four: Wardrobe choices should always include a weapon and a kickass black leather jacket. Why? Because the weapon handles every known possible situation you will ever find yourself in (people pushing you in the coffee line, people talking to you before you have coffee…you get the pic?). Plus the jacket…is damn sexy! Looking good while slicing people’s heads off…a given must.

Lesson Number Five: Learn endurance. The Bride gets gunned down, shot in the head, buried alive, raped, put into a coma, stabbed, paralyzed, beaten up, spat on, tied up…the list is endless…and let’s not forget the trauma of losing her groom and thinking she lost her baby. If you’re going through something hard in life at the moment, just be grateful it ain’t that! So persevere, maybe?

Lesson Number Six: Stabbing bitches to death is sometimes a mental moral imperative for personal well-being. Well, at least in your head. It’s healthy to act out revenge in your mind, therapeutic even (IN YOUR MIND!!!!).

Lesson Number Seven: Forgive but never forget…yeeeah, that’s gonna get you into a whole lotta trouble. If you’ve been wronged rather be the better person and get a punching bag for any residual anger. You could go all Kiddo on their asses but unless you know The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique, chances are you’re just playing the woman scorned and revenge won’t be so sweet. You’ll most likely get yourself into a situation you cannot get out of…like jail perhaps. Let it go! * snowflakes and stuff

 

Lesson Number Eight: Refuse to lay down and die. No matter what life throws at you. Find a resourceful way to counteract and own it. It takes poise!

 

Lesson Number Nine: Always make a list. Life is often complicated, enemies innumerable…think ahead and stay focused…lists lists lists.

 

Lesson Number Ten: Lastly, never underestimate the power of a great hairstyle (EVER) in adding that little bit of extra oomph to the situation at hand. You can opt for scraggly and lifeless (but where’s the appeal in that?) or you could go for something fabulous…because let’s face it, if you’re going to be badass then you need to look the part, right? 🙂

 Oh and you might as well learn to speak like a badass too, so I leave you with some of my favorite lines from Beatrix Kiddo (insert hard stare and unusually calm yet unnerving demeanor) :

  • ” I am gonna ask you questions. And every time you don’t give me answers, I’m gonna cut something off. And I promise you, they will be things you will miss.”
  • “It’s mercy, compassion and forgiveness I lack. Not rationality.”

All photos found on Pinterest.

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Published by

Kamalini Govender

I'm that girl that looks badass in her black boots reading Gothic Psychoanalytic Lit but really just wants to pew pew pew with someone.

21 thoughts on “Ten Things You Can Learn from Beatrix Kiddo a.k.a. The Bride.”

  1. Wow every time I feel I have just read my favorite post from you, you grab me with another that leaves me speechless and in awe of your perspective and writing style. You are my role model and as I aspire and dream to captivate my readers in only a remote fraction of the way to grab me, these ten points are definitely something to live by. You find such an amazing way to convey and draw the reader in, I am in awe of your talent. Xoxoxo.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I just got back from hospital- never a fun experience- and it means so much to read this 🙂 There’s so much craziness and desperation in the world that I only want to write and in that writing find something that can let myself and others feel that no matter where we are in the world or what our circumstances there are still more adventures and magic to be found around us. 🙂 Thanks for supporting me Moonchild 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hospital, oh no, are you ok? It is crazy because just last night I was thinking about you, that it has been quiet and yes even in one or two days, I miss you if I don’t see or hear anything from you. I hope you are doing fine and it was nothing serious. Healing vibes and prayers for you my friend.
        I hear what you are saying about writing and I feel the same. I find it hard to find my palace of belonging in this craziness at times and writing has giving me a purpose. I want to to do it all the time and look forward to share my thoughts with others as I always realize I’m not alone.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m a survivor my dear 😉 So rest assured there will be plenty of my posts to read 😀 People tend to see only the negatives about increased technology and invasion of privacy but it also has its benefits. We get to have conversations with people with similar and different ideas all over the world…and it can add something special. Thank you for your healing vibes and prayers…they mean a lot to me right now 🙂 * moon hugs

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You are absolutely right and technology if used accordingly brings possibilities otherwise not possible and without it I wouldn’t be talking to wonderful you.
        I’m a survivor as well and I’m glad you are ok and getting better. My thoughts are always with you and wish for a speedy recovery. Many hugs and much love for you dear. Xoxoxo

        Liked by 1 person

    1. The things that I’ve learned from this character have truly saved my life and inspires me, so yes of course I’d love to share it! I want to spread the badassery 🙂 Is there any specific way to go about sharing it? And thanks for reading my post and the kind comment 🙂

      Like

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