You know that moment when you make a realization that completely sets you apart from the majority of people living in the sane portion of the world? That moment when you step back and say to yourself “I’m super glad it’s only my stuffed unicorn that’s here to witness my absurdity”. Bookworms get these moments ALL the time. We’re mentally incapable of restructuring ourselves to act in any other way. Because the allure of a book, the seductiveness involved in reading one…these things keep us perpetually floating on our oddball cloud. I’ve put together seven undeniable things we bookworms are guilty of. Let’s not pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. *insert raised eyebrow
- That social feeling other people get when they walk into a crowded club full of hot men and women, is the same feeling of potential you get when you walk into a bookstore. All those books…all those words…I’ll buy myself my own drink thank you and sit in a corner with my new friend, I mean book.
- You smell your books. It’s totally ok! Smelling is an ancient tradition in the animal kingdom and it’s how you categorize friend from foe, who you’ll play with and who you’ll eat. So smelling a book is a totally legit way to welcome your book into your safe space.
- Buying books when you have no money in your bank account, in no way indicates problematic behavior. It means you have a healthy optimism that money will soon magically appear to keep the credit card hounds at bay. That’s faith right there! Right?
- When you see those little book worms on the pages of your old books, you say “hello there old friend!” instead of running for the hills like your non book-loving mates.
- When someone eventually twists your arm to lend them one of your prized possessions (that can be said for all your books by the way), you imagine all sorts of creative serial killer ways to end them if they spill anything on it or ,god forbid, lose it.
- You have more books than friends. And I’m talking about real life friends, not your imaginary ones. Because if we had to include Elizabeth Bennet and Michael Valentine Smith (among others), things could start getting out of hand.
- Your understanding of time borders on science fictional remarkable. Ten hours in a bookstore can seem like a mere five minutes. One minute of someone interrupting your reading time can stretch for lives. I’m talking Koopa Troopa cheat bouncing lives. And I’m pretty sure studies are being done on the bookworm’s ability to extend their natural lives through reading too. We are indeed a special breed.
Seven ways… doesn’t even seem enough to list our endless quirks but that’s still seven points you can bring up in conversation with humans to prove how advantageous you are to planet earth. Although…human conversation, what’s that?